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| 1. I have the knowledge and ability to get good grades in college, but I always settle for average, something that I never used to do in high school.
2. I am scared to make big decisions because I think my parents will disagree, or try and force what they want on me.
3. I can't say 'I love you' to my close friends and even some family members, but deep down, I know I'd die for them.
4. I don't openly share my feelings and keep them inside. There is really no one I can really share them with.
5. Since coming back from Purdue, I've been very unmotivated. I now dread the idea of "growing up" and living in the real world. I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I'm beginning to dislike my major.
6. I rarely go out for fun nowadays. I spend most of my days either going to school, work, or browsing the internet. I got a bunch of good friends, but they are sometimes too busy to hang out. I guess that's what happens when people get older.
7. Wow, I sometimes eat at school alone.
8. I daydream a lot, seriously, maybe 55% of the time I'm daydreaming. For example, when I'm sitting in class, I'll realize I've read an entire chapter in a book (school) but I can't remember anything because I was actually thinking about something else while reading.
It's just what I've been thinking. Some are pretty embarrasing, but whatever.
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| Hmm, it's been a while since I posted. You know, there is never enough time during the school semester to do all that we intend to do. I haven't been documenting every aspect of my life, much to my regret, but I guess I need to live it instead of analyze it. Life has actually been treating me good. Nothing really to brag about yet, so I guess I'll have to wait until something interesting happens until I post a meaningful blog. In the meantime, you can find me on Facebook. | | |
| So I've realized that things in life can be a lot worse than they are right now, but I'm lucky to have the things I have. I should remind myself that there are those out there that don't have these sorts of things, and we need to strive to reach out to those people. This Thanksgiving, give thanks with a grateful heart; count your blessings and be a blessing to others. Happy Thanksgiving.
"As long as we can find some good in our lives to give thanks for, there will always be a Thanksgiving Day." November 24, 2004 | | |
| So the other day, I was browsing my girlfriend's Facebook, and I noticed that one of her favorite movies is Cruel Intentions (something I did not know). Earlier today, it was actually on television and I caught the ending where "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve was playing. I didn't pay much attention to it. Coincidentally, while I was driving later on, it was played on 96.3. I guess I became interested in the lyrics so much that when I got home, I looked up the video on YouTube. So in the video, the lead singer is just walking against the flow of people, and just is not afraid to go against these people. I pictured this as walking through obstacles. The catchy background music and neat lyrics make such a deep and powerful song. I take it as showing people that everyone sees life in a different way and how everyone takes different directions down the road. It makes me think of what I’ve been through and how I’ve grown from the past. In the end, though, these paths are connected, and those connections make life worth your while.
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| It's about 6:17PM and things for me have quieted down after LEGACY Camp that was held this past weekend. Right now, I am in need of rest and relaxation, and just need some time to think. I always learn so much from LEGACY, and that's why I keep coming back for more.
In less than a week, I'll be turning 20. That's two decades of my life that I have already lived through. Looking back, I ask myself - "What have I done in the past 10 years?" I've gone through many different phases, made wrong decisions, and still tried to make my life enjoyable. I question everything that I have now, wondering if it IS right. If this FEELS right. If I had to graph my life experiences, it would be crazy. Up, up, up, then down, down, down. It was never just coasting smoothly. I’ve made huge mistakes and I believe to have learned from them. The good thing about mistakes we make in the journey of life are what we learned from them, which in the long run, shapes us to who we will become. I wouldn’t be who I am now without those cuts, bruises, and scars, and now, I am ready to face more of what life has to offer.
The teen years have gone, and geez, how much of the world you taught me over the years and how much of a hard life you gave me. There are some things that still runs through my mind every now and then, but it'll be fine. One of the most important things learned from those 10 years is to always have faith. The light at the end of the tunnel is always there. You will just have to believe enough to see it. Believe in yourself that you will survive and thrive.
Life isn't always perfect. Just live and learn. And enjoy. | | |
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